I pray you are having a blessed Lord's Day. It's cloudy and cool here, which I love, and all is right with the world. Sam and I are Reformed Christians and we love our little church. We live in a particularly beautiful area of the South and are surrounded by mountains. Our church is on a hilltop in the country and the view as we step out of church every Sunday reminds us of God's glory and we still pinch ourselves that we get to live here. Sam and I moved here from Texas almost two years ago and although I dearly love Texas because I was born and raised there, we have fallen in love with our new home. Our oldest son lives about 2 hours from us so when my granddaughters are born, we'll be able to see them much more often. My youngest son is still in Texas and I miss him terribly. But he attends college and is in a serious relationship with a young lady so I know he's happy where he is and thankfully, we can talk as often as we like by phone. (Thank the Lord for unlimited long distance.) This has been a bittersweet Thanksgiving as my parents are both deceased (my mom in '93 and my daddy in '03) and my only sibling, a brother, died very suddenly in January. Even with my Sam by my side and the love of my children, I miss my family so much and often feel very alone. It's very weird knowing you're the last one left of your birth family.
Okay, on to other things. We're going to decorate for Christmas today. I've been rather ambivalent about it this year and I'm usually really anxious to get my stuff put out and get the tree up and decorated. But Sam pointed out to me that I might be feeling depressed - my brother's death hit me very hard and was so senseless. You see, he had abused his body with drugs (legal and otherwise) for most of his life and he died as result of bleeding internally. His wife and one of his precious daughters witnessed this. This happened just days after my son's wedding. So - it's been a year of highs and lows and although I miss my brother terribly, I pray he's in a better place. He professed to be a Christian and I do believe that anyone who could abuse themselves that way had to be mentally ill to some degree and could still be a Christian, so I comfort myself with that knowledge.
I just read the above and realize this isn't exactly the feel good post of the year, is it? Well, it's part of my life and who I am so there's no point in pretending otherwise. This life is a vale of tears but even during the lowest times, God is faithful and merciful and I am very blessed.
I have a roast in the crockpot that smells soooo good and I need to decide what to fix to go with that. We have about eaten up the last of the turkey and things from Thanksgiving so I need to work on a menu for the upcoming week. I have found that having a menu really helps me when I buy groceries and it keeps me from wondering what on earth I'm gonna fix for supper that night. As I've mentioned before, I do love to cook but the hardest part for me is deciding what to have. Sam is so easy to cook for and is very appreciative of whatever I prepare for our meals and he's a huge help in the kitchen. I don't get home from work most nights until after 6 so he will either help get supper started or offers to wash dishes afterward so I can rest. He is the best husband imaginable.
I hope the remainder of your Sunday is restful, joyful, and serene.
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1 comment:
I, too, have had a sad time with my brother, Leeann. It hurts too much for me to even talk about but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.
I miss my mom and dad, all my aunts and uncles, my brother...sometimes, even with my lovely family, I just get overwhelmed with desire to see and spend time with them again....Thank God for your Sam and my Bill.
hugs, bj
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